hippieed perceptions

I feel like I've kind of reached the point with this entire genre that it truly has to be nothing short of amazing for me to be happy. More often than not lately, I feel like I'm missing the train when I don't fully understand the massive hype around a book. But, anyway.

There was so much in this book that I wanted to love, but there was just so much in this book. Too much. Too many story-lines competing with each other for dominance. Did everything come together at the end? Yes, there was a reason for every single aspect. That is one of the things that I liked about this. Amy Harmon was able to weave a thoroughly in-depth story line and not leave any loose ends having. I also loved Moses and Georgia, but especially Georgia. She was a great character the entire time, one that you can actually like and respect. Moses was intriguing, cracks and all. Even Tag was a good side character and was intriguing enough that I look forward to his book.

So, what was the problem? Despite liking so much, when I finished the book I didn't get any more out of it than "oh that was pretty good". No major feelings, good or bad. It was just a good read. I'm not sure there is anything specifically that I didn't like. The biblical stuff, the paranormal stuff, the sad twist...I was cool with it all. I guess that's the problem, I was just cool with it all. Nothing struck a nerve or a cord. It filled my time without feeling like I was wasting it, but it wasn't anything that I'm going to be thinking about for days or weeks to come.

To put a little bow on this neat little package, most people will probably love this book. It has a 4+ star average rating. It's a good book. For the right people (i.e. a not completely cynical bitch who can still be moved by the 5 greats and believes in the power of forgiveness. I'm pretty sure I missed that boat), it is probably a great book. Even despite not being overly excited about it, I'd still probably recommend this book to someone who wanted something in the uplifting category.

Peanut oil.  Love it.  

I know I shouldn't actually like Joe, because..well Joe.  But I just can't help it.  Caroline Kepnes can really do the likable sociopath.  Really.   

So, I'm pretty sure that I've had several rants similar to Joe's.  Yeah. 

That. Was. So. GOOD!

Most book readers will always say that the book was better than the movie. It's rare that it isn't the case. So, it shouldn't be in the least bit surprising for me to say that the book was better than the movie. And the movie was awesome. I'm mean, Jeff Goldblum.

How well cast was he as Ian Malcolm? And I only loved him more in the book. I'm a sucker for pretentious mathematicians, apparently.

Anyhoo. Do I really need to review this book? Is there anyone left who HASN'T seen Jurassic Park or any of the incarnations yet? If you enjoyed the movie, you'll enjoy the book more. It is so much more in depth, and so much more gratifying. The only downside is that you don't get the visual moments as posted above but as you can see, I gave it to you so every time you get to an Ian scene, just come back and marvel. You are welcome.

Side note.  I only read Jurassic Park, not the Lost World.  But alas, Booklikes didn't give me an option for just Jurassic Park and I was too lazy to search more.  

Jumping on the bandwagon as I continue to procrastinate from the wonder that is Statistics.  

1. Are you named after anyone?

Sadly, yes.  Erica Kane from All My Children though my mom was generous enough to spell it was a K instead of a C so I could never get any of the personalized name stuff when I was growing up. (I'm not bitter at all)

2. When was the last time you cried

Last week when I finished The Bright Side by Kim Holden.  It was a bad night.  

3. Do you have kids?

Yep, 3.  15 & 11 year old boys and a 7 year old girl.  

4. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? 

Yes.  Maybe.  Depends on the day and what other person.  

5. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

 No, of course not.  

6. Will you ever bungee-jump? 

Bungee-jump, sky dive, zip-line,  etc.  

7. What’s your favorite cereal? 

Reese Puffs.  Because I apparently never aged past 12. 

8. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Depends on the person, I guess.  If they have tattoos, those.  They they are wearing white sunglasses, that.  How they carry themselves, hair color, clothes so on and so forth.  Body language, art and clothing can speak a lot about people.  

9. What is your eye colour?

Green

10. Scary movie or happy endings?

Scary Movies.

11. Favorite smells?

 cookies, vanilla, chocolate cake...

12. Summer or winter?

 Winter in the south, which is pretty much summer half the time anyway.  I do not do snow.  

13. Computer or television?

  As long as I can watch tv on the computer, computer. 

14. What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? 

 The Bahamas

15. Do you have any special talents?

I can run in 6 inch heels, if that isn't a talent, I don't know what is.  

16. Where were you born?

Alabama 

17. What are your hobbies?

 Reading, driving my children and husband crazy, crocheting, collecting vinyl, sleeping 

18. Do you have any pets?

 2 sociopathic cats and a dog who thinks he is a cat 

19. Favorite movies? 

 Too many to list.  The Exorcist, Almost Famous, Rocky Horror, Cry-Baby, Jurassic Park, The Way We Were, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Disney movies....

20. Do you have any siblings?

 2 sisters. I'm in the middle 

21. What do you want to be when you grow up?

 Well, I'm in school to be a respiratory therapist, but I have no plans to actually grow up, thanks.  

To be completely honest, I remember the basics of this book but not enough to write a full-fledged review of it. The fact of the matter is that even though I thought it was a decent book initially, the one time I that I set it down I forgot that I was reading it. For weeks. I didn't remember that I was reading it until I marked the other books I was reading for a class as finished. And even then, it still took me a couple of weeks to pick it back up and finish the last few chapters. There was also a huge loss for the readers through the author not using the Russian background more to her advantage. Even if she only wanted to use the history in a limited capacity, there still could have been a great deal more used.

I doubt that I'll continue on with this series anytime soon, if ever. It was an interesting idea in theory, but there wasn't enough to the book to hold my interest.

Okay, so I'm biased. I can't imagine a world where I wouldn't give Vmars at least 4 stars.

Anyway.

Pro category.

Logan.

I mean. It's probably not healthy to lust over a fictional character as much as Logan. But there it is. Logan as a driven Navy pilot? Please take my self respect now. I'm a sucker for a Navy uniform. Hell, I would pay money to convince my husband to actually wear his Navy uniform home more than once every 10 years but  he obviously holds some kind of secret resentment towards me (or the Navy, whatever) and won't put the thing on unless he is forced too. Back on topic. The entire arc with Veronica and Logan going back to sea duty hit a cord with me. In both the Navy aspect and the situation that lead to Logan joining the Navy. It's one of the many reasons why I can never bring myself to think anything but awesome of everything surrounding Veronica Mars. We get the sarcastically dry humor and real life experiences wrapped up in one package. We not only see Veronica work her cases, but we see her work through her life and all that it entails. Yes, it's a little fantastical the things that Veronica does, but underneath the fantasy is still real life situations handled in real ways. It's what made the show what it was (and yes, the canceling was a travesty and still deserves the ire that it gets even after all these years) and it is what makes these books readable.

Cons.

Yes, I have cons. One, yes it's going to be selfish but it just was not the same not having Kristen Ball narrating the audiobook. Jennifer Graham didn't do a bad job at it by any means, but she isn't Kristen Bell. We have been spoiled by her narration of book one and there is really no going back for me. Sorry. Two, this book took a while to really hook you. Obviously, if you have watched the show, the movie, and read book one, you are going to keep going no matter what because we know that it will pick up. We Marshmallows have issues, but taste is not one of them. We know what we will eventually get. However, it just didn't suck me in at first like I expected it too, hence the 4 stars.

So, to sum all of this rambling up. If you read this because you are already sucked deep into VMars, you won't be disappointed. If for some reason you are coming into this without watching the show, movie or reading book one, please stop what you are doing and going back to square one. You won't be disappointed. And if for some reason you just didn't like Veronica Mars from the get go, you are wrong. That's probably mean, but I tell my own husband the same while I question how we have been together for almost 10 years. Maybe that is why he only breaks out his uniform on occasion. Keeping me hooked with his freaking dress blues.  

Audio booking and normal booking this one. I am SO sad that Kristen Bell isn't narrating this one too. But Logan.

Logan.  

Side note.  Statistics is the worst class that I have ever taken.  The worst.  I fully regret every moment of opting into summer classes.  

"The most terrifying realization is that so many millions in the world would like to be in my place."

I'm not sure that you can really rate someone journals. Isn't the entire point of them to write down your own thoughts? By rating something like that, it's like saying that their thoughts aren't as important as your own. It's someone's life.

On that note, I obviously rated this a 5. I can't say that I loved every aspect of this. But at the same time, I wish I would have grabbed the unabridged version instead so I could have read more. At the end of the day, it was insight into an author that I already respected because of her genius andher flaws.

The biggest plus for me reading this, was truly seeing how much of herself that she gave to her writings. It's one thing to know you are reading confessional poetry or a semi-autobiographical novel, but it is entirely something else to also see so much of that played out in her actual journals. It gave me an entirely new level of respect for what she did. I know that I could never be able to put myself out in the world like she did.

I'm going to openly admit that I really want to love Colleen Hoover's books. Really want too. I just can never seem to completely get there. The ideas are obviously there, the execution never lives up to what I want. I hate that sense of disappointment that I get at the end of the book. I guess in that respect, I could fully understand Tate. I just keep putting myself in the same situation, hoping that even after repeated signs against it, that this will finally be the moment where my pain and frustration pays off. The plus side for me is that I know that one day I'll get there with Colleen again. One day.

Anyway.

I can't really pinpoint any specific aspect of this book that I didn't care for. The truth of the matter is that I just didn't care. I wish I could say that it was because I already knew the big secret as to why Miles was the way he is, but I am a spoiler whore, I love them. If something is good enough, I should still be affected even after reading a spoiler. Hell, I have books that I have read numerous times and I still feel it like it was the first time every time I read them. Ugly Love didn't give that to me. I never felt anything for Tate or Miles. I also didn't hate them either, just an overall feeling of meh.

So, that is where I am at. Meh. I wish it was different, but alas it wasn't. I know there are people who will love this though.

And as a side note. I think I may be the only person who doesn't find Nike Bateman to be the least bit attractive. Maybe that was part of my problem too. I kept picturing him and it was like a having cold diet pepsi poured all over me. Ick. ( yes, I realize that I stalk Colleen Hoover enough to know her unnatural love of diet pepsi, and I'm in the firm anti-Pepsi group. Gross.)

and I have been watching Live at the Hollywood Bowl.  One can never have too much Jim in their lives.  

And yes, that look pretty much sums up exactly his occupation...lighting, ahem, fires.  

“Fuck forgiveness. That’s what they want me to do. Make it easy for them. Clear their consciences. Let them get away with what they’ve done. The powerful. The strong. The privileged. Not a fucking chance.” 

I'm honestly in awe of Leah Raeder right now. The fact that she produced such a darkly poetic love story weaved in with a visceral revenge scheme is just freaking outstanding.

A scene in part of the book discussed Humbert Humbert and his unreliable narration of Lolita and compared that to Laney's narration through Black Iris. I think this sums up so much of how I feel right now. Even despite what Humbert actually does in Lolita, his narration still makes you FEEL for him, even when you really wish you didn't. You want to hate him for what he has done and who he is destroying, but that dark part of you can't do it. You revel in his poetic nature and he somehow convinces you that he isn't all bad. That is what Raeder does with Laney. You want to be appalled at her actions. You want to turn away and tell her what she is doing is wrong. But that dark part of you doesn't let you. You respect her for what she is doing and you sincerely hope that she is able to completely destroy all of those people. You revel in her successes.

In all this though, the comparisons that Raeder uses between Laney and Humbert's unreliable narrations, is something that truly disturbs me about this world. The fact that Laney hates herself for what she is and in some way actually compares herself with Humbert is something that I find incredibly depressing and telling about how far we really still have to go in this world. The fact that we can read a book with a plot like this one and can see it actually being something that can happen...it's just, I don't know how to fully describe how it makes me feel. Sad all around. Sad that we have to have disclaimers on books to warn people off just in case they are offended. Offended by a consensual love between people. That is actually matters what sex or how many people are involved. Any of it. Anyway.

I recommend for anyone and everyone to read this book. It's intensely suspenseful. It's beauty wrapped in an ugly package. It's ugly wrapped in a beautiful package. It's eye-opening. It's outstanding.

"In a typical college romance novel, this was the moment I would've been waiting for. The validation of all my shame and suffering at the hands of other men: a beautiful boy loved me. What had been done to my body didn't ruin me for Mr. Right. Zippity-fucking-doo-dah."

Isn't that the truth.  Proof that you aren't actually ruined.  How nice it is to think that a part of you isn't actually dead thanks to the love of a good man.  Is it better to read something that you wish could be true, or something that actually is?

I have so many thoughts right now.  I can't wait to finish this book so maybe I can begin to process them all..

I don't know why I do stuff like this to myself. How do you rate a book that the only emotion that you are capable to feeling is when am I ever going to stop crying? All of those people who call me emotionless can go stuff it while I go wallow in my pit of despair.

Maybe I'll write an actual review one day, when I can process something other than how much I really wish I didn't have a final tomorrow so I could throw myself headfirst into a bottle of tequila like I want too. Until then, It was a devastatingly good read about a controversial subject matter that more people should be willing to openly talk about. My having two family members that are in situations such as Will's made this hit me even harder than I expected. Which is more selfish.. wanting to force life even if they don't want it or wanting to die even if your loved ones will lose you? I can't answer that, but I know that I'll think about it even more after reading this book.

Man, do I wish that I felt more with this book. I'm rounding up to 3, but that is being really generous because I am biased when it comes to Karina. I probably obsess over her and her books to a fault, even when I don't LOVE them. Seriously, she has her own shelf. It would be a little embarrassing, the level of my fan girl, if I was easily embarrassed.  Anyway.

One of the things that hooks me with Karina is how amazingly real her female characters are. They are imperfect, can be difficult or weak, and at times downright hard to like but you love them anyway. I have never been able to not connect with her characters, not be able to see pieces of who I was and who I am in them. And though I can still see those pieces that make Karina's characters so special to me, I wasn't able to connect with Gemma. Maybe it was her actions during the road trip or maybe it was her inherent refusal to be willing to connect with other people, I'm not really sure. I really wanted to find that connection though, especially to a character that struggles to form emotional attachments. It would be the pot calling the kettle black if I held that against her. But nonetheless, she and in turn the book never clicked with me.

There definitely were saving graces throughout the book though. The descriptions of New Zealand really spoke to the level of love and respect Karina had for the country and made me want to hop to next flight so I can see everything for myself. It painted such an outstandingly vivd picture. I felt like I was experiencing some of the trips right along with the characters. The side characters also packed a surprisingly poignant punch, especially Tibald and Amber. I guess I should mention Josh too. You know, the hot tattooed art student who dropped everything to travel to New Zealand to chase after a one night stand, only to deal with frustration and disappointment for weeks until Gemma pulled her head out of her ass, Josh. Do I really need to say more? Didn't think so.

So. I can't outright say that I didn't enjoy this, because that's not entirely true. I guess it is more along the lines of wanting and expecting more. Some could say it is a little unfair of me, but that's my opinion. I expected more from Gemma and Karina both, but I didn't quite get it.

Contrived and predictable, but damned if it wasn't entertaining.

It is starting to seem that every dystopian YA just follows along the same basic plot lines, or at least picks pieces of several and just melds them together. I've gotten kind of numb to it at this point, which is actually kind of sad. The plus side with Red Queen was that I still really enjoyed it. There really wasn't anything that surprised me, yes even the ending (hello, it was foreshadowed REPEATEDLY), but I still wanted to keep listening. I guess I'm cool with contrived predictability in my YA as long as it's fun along the way.